I was married for ten years and had two kids when my life completely fell apart. I got a divorce and went from that to having an alcoholic girlfriend, paying child support, only seeing my kids every other weekend, and then getting laid off from my job of 11 years. At that point I was usually either drinking or crying or both. Lying, cheating, and money troubles… I had it all…
EXCEPT, I didn’t have a Savior.
I am not sure exactly when I hit rock bottom, but I know I did. I felt like I had hit it numerous times during that period of my life. Eventually, I came to the ‘end of myself’, that point where you realize you can’t do it on your own. That point where you kind of wake up and say to yourself ‘what am I doing?’ So finally, after a few years at rock bottom, I got my own place and left the alcoholic and started to try to put my life back together.
During this process, by the grace of God, I met and started dating an amazing woman. This woman blew me away with her faith. I was awestruck with her in so many ways, but the one that stood out above all was her devotion to The Lord. I believe God placed her in my life at the perfect time to draw me closer to Him. She made me want to be a better man (I borrowed this quote from the movie As Good as it Gets).
We started going to church every weekend, sometimes to two churches in a weekend. For the first time in my life, I felt like my soul was being fed, and it felt absolutely wonderful. I remember leaving church and being on cloud 9, like I was the luckiest man in the world. I was amazed at how much I DIDN’T know about the Bible and how enjoyable and relevant the scriptures were. Being fed spiritually was new for me but remarkably fulfilling.
It was during this time, about two years ago, that I gave my life to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and was saved by His Amazing Grace and then was baptized.
I remember coming to the realization that HIS desire is to have a relationship with me! And HE wants to forgive me. Of course, as time passed, this realization became a little clouded and foggy. It was as if I had to be reminded about this fact in order not to forget it. This was frustrating! Sometimes I would think “am I a child that I have to be reminded of what I already know?” Well, yes, that is exactly what was (and is) needed. I had to audibly remind myself because all the other internal voices tried to contradict the truth of HIS promises.
There were times when I thought, how can HE love me AND forgive me after all that I have done wrong? And, honestly I still struggle with that, although the frequency has diminished. But when that happens, I just repeat God’s promises and that helps me. At other times I would start to feel condemned and that all hope was lost. But it helped to hear the Word preached and to know that others struggle with the same things I struggle with.
It seems like if you do not progress and grow in your faith, you start backsliding. It was as if a hunger for more welled up inside me, and that is when I discovered podcasts.
Thank God for sermon podcasts!
I started listening to podcasts from various preachers and could be fed spiritually at almost any time I wanted. One thing I noticed about listening to a variety of preachers is that I gained knowledge and understanding from their different insights and perspectives. Some preachers can draw a totally different life lesson or message from the same scripture than others.
Not long ago I started taking notes on each sermon I listened to, to help me remember who had said what. I would jot down highlights of the sermon, the topics that were mentioned, any scripture references, and any other useful content.
These podcasts have been a lifesaver for me. They have helped me understand myself and the people around me better. They have helped me make sense out of events in my life that I couldn’t make sense out of before. They have brought me perspective, but most importantly they have brought me PEACE.
I realized that this information might help other people who are struggling. One way I think I can help is to tell people about it.
This is the reason I am starting this website/blog
Check out my website here!